Fourth Advent

After three weeks of Advent observed in three different countries, today I was back in Finland. As I did on Second Advent, I presented the Godly Play lesson to the whole congregation. I encouraged adults to move further forward for this, and on the floor in front of me I had a familiar group of four children. 

It's a long post today. It's a long lesson! Berryman says, "Do not minimize or rush the story," but realistically speaking it is often going to be the case that one has to shorten it a little, especially the parts you've told before. This can be done, however, without rushing and without trivializing them. 

So I reviewed the season of Advent, with its purple color (seen on our altar / focal shelf but not on our pulpit fall, which is always black), and the need to get ready to enter or come close to a Mystery. I reviewed the prophets, who we remember on First Advent, and the Holy Family on the Road to Bethlehem from Second Advent. Then I told the story of the shepherds watching over their flocks by night, who were blinded by a dazzling light. 

Once again, I am grateful to a mother who took an amazing number of photos with my ipad during the telling. And now, I notice how much detritus there is about us in the photo. The children were "playing and praying" both before and after this lesson. In fact, some found it very difficult to tear themselves away from what they were working on when I asked them to come listen. 

Looking through the pictures, though, it was striking how much of the time all of the children were really intent upon the story. One child lay down, but was watching and listening.

Did you notice in the first photos that the candles were already lit? That was one of the first things that happened in the service today. Not only that, but the candles were introduced according to the readings in the Revised Common Lectionary, which is a very different system from the one that Godly Play follows. The Godly Play ordering was used in American Protestant liturgical churches for decades, long before they adopted the RCL. (The RCL's system surely has long roots elsewhere.)

I was not too bothered either by the fact that the candles were introduced with different symbolism or that they were already lit. I just mentioned once or twice, without making a very big deal about it, that there are different systems in use. And after telling the stories and placing the figures onto my underlay, I lifted down the candles one by one, and placed them by the figures. 

Today I used the Sacred Story questions for Wondering. I wonder which part of the Advent story you like best. You can say out loud if you want, but you don't have to. Nobody has to answer. Nobody did answer. 

I wonder what part of the Advent story you think is the most important. Thoughtful looks, but no words. 

I wonder where you are in the Advent story. Or where you are in terms of getting ready for the Mystery of Christmas. Are you ready for Christmas? Maybe you feel like the wise men - like you'll probably be late! Maybe you feel like you're shivering in the cold night air, trying to stay awake to keep the sheep safe... or maybe you can hear the song of the angels. 

I'm afraid I got rather long-winded. A budding preacher, that's what I am! 

Sometimes there are women who feel a lot like Mary during Advent, because they too are expecting a baby! You might feel like the prophets, that you know what is important but you fear that people aren't listening, and that it's going to take years and years and years before what's supposed to happen does happen. I wonder where you are on the road to Bethlehem.

And then once again I asked the children to snuff out the candles change the light. I liked doing it this way, although it occurs to me that it might be a bad precedent to do it this way too often. I might not be able to go back to doing it myself. [I also realized, and said, that the service leader would probably want to re-light them for the rest of the service, once we'd gone back to "playing and praying".]

And then I began to put things away. Even without taking the Holy Family back up to the altar (in case a child wanted to work with it), there was a lot to put away. It took time. 

But look. Although one child has (understandably) turned away, at least two children watched intently right through to the very end. 

flea market furniture

Yesterday I made a pass through a local flea market. And what did I find? Two child-sized chairs, at only €4.50 each. And a few stalls later, a child-sized table for €5. The chairs are a bit banged up, and the table doesn't match the chairs, but I grabbed them for our Play and Pray area anyway. (If anyone from the congregation would like to paint them, that'll be fine with me!) 

I just left them in the car last night and unloaded them into the chapel today... whereupon I realized that they still had the price labels on them. Better bring some Goo Gone next week! The pencil tin on the table was also a new purchase, but as soon as I started to put the pencils into it, I realized it was TOO LOUD. I'll keep my eyes open for a fabric pencil case instead. 

Wouldn't you know it? One family was away at a retreat this weekend, and another couple of children ran late or something - just before the service started their mother scooted in alone and mouthed, "Sorry" to me from across the chapel.

However, that did mean I was able to focus on the Eucharistic prayer today.

• read more about Finnish flea markets in this post

playing and praying thematically

Recently I was interested to see another church's Play and Pray area, where items were stored thematically. 

Can you read the labels? They include "The Lost Sheep", "Nativity", "Noah's Ark", and "Church". 

(Please click here to read my other posts about Pray and Play areas.)

distraction

This moment was part of what I've been hoping for:

distracted by "adult" worship

This child spent the first part of our service today working with materials about the story of Jonah (a story she knows not from Godly Play but from a Bible storybook at home). However, as I snapped this photo, her attention was drawn away from her own work to the worship service taking place in the same chapel. Last week a mother said to me that she noticed her son singing along with one of the congregational responses as he sat drawing a picture.

As Carolynn wrotes,

The children playing during the worship does not mean they are not also engaging with what they are seeing and hearing. 

Play and Pray - advice for parents

These are some thoughts I've had after our first couple of months with a Play and Pray area in our worship space. This experience has been with a small group of children aged about 3-6.

Advice for parents

1. Remind your children ahead of time about expected behavior.  This may vary from church to church. I ask children to keep their voices down to an absolute whisper except when the congregation is singing (or passing the Peace). Apart from Communion, I ask them to stay in the Play and Pray area (and to move slowly and quietly).
2. Come a little early. Your child might well want to share some news with me, or make small talk. This is easier to do before the service has started. Coming early also allows the child time to orient themselves and settle down. (If you come too early, though, we might not have finished setting up yet!)
3. Leave your child's own toys at home. We have selected the Play and Pray materials with care. Just as our worship space is not like your living room, so our "toys" are not like all the other toys your child has at home. In fact, I like to think of them as worship materials rather than toys.
4. Once you've dropped your child off, sit elsewhere. The Play and Pray area is as much for you as for your children in that we want to give you the freedom to listen to the sermon without worrying about your kids. If there's a huge discipline problem, I'll come get you. Otherwise, please assume that I'll deal with it. Give me and your child the freedom to do our own thing. 
5. Let your child know they may make their own choices. In my Play and Pray area, children choose for themselves what to do most of the time. The only exceptions are that we stand to listen to the Gospel, we may greet each other at The Peace, and we all go forward for Holy Communion or blessings. At other times, children may want to follow along with what the other congregants are doing, or watch what the priest is doing. They may choose to read a book, to color, or to work with our worship materials. They may want to pray, look around the space, or just sit quietly. It is their choice. 

p.s. Re-reading this after posting, I find it all sounds very stern. I'm sorry about that. My goal with our Play and Pray area is to help your children feel that they belong and that they matter - in church, to our congregation, to God! I enjoy worshipping with them. Thanks for bringing them to church!

a disappointing alternative?

Yesterday we weren't sure whether any children would come to church (one family is away, another had only just returned from holidays and were jet-lagged), and then we found out at very short notice that "our" chapel was in use by another priest so we were moved elsewhere. Vandriver and I managed to dash in just in time to grab a few things from the storage cupboard (located *in* the chapel) to carry to our temporary location, and I set up and then sat within a scaled-down Play and Pray area anyway, just in case any children did come.

location as usual, just behind the first row on "the Gospel side"

Happily, two showed up. They had been away most of the summer and this was their first introduction to Play and Pray. Although I would say that on the whole things went well, the 4-year-old turned to me during the service and asked, When are we going to have Junior Church again? Caught off-guard, and needing to whisper, I answered non-committally. After the service, at church coffee, the 4-year-old contentedly informed me, I think we'll have Junior Church next week. I'd like to have asked what aspects of Junior Church / Godly Play she prefers over Play and Pray (I have several ideas, but they are mine not hers), but as it was, I just tried to explain that it'll be Play and Pray at least until the autumn.

If her parents are reading, perhaps you'll inquire about her preferences if this topic comes up again. If somebody does start up Junior Church again in the autumn it'd be good to know what aspects work well for the children. And in the meantime, it may be that the church can make some changes to the way we do Play and Pray to incorporate some of what different children miss.

And other readers - what do the children in your churches like and dislike about being in church for adult services as opposed to going to Sunday School or other programs designed for them? (Don't know? Why not ask?)

evaluating the Play and Pray area

As I've said here, the adults were very positive about our first week of summer Play and Pray. I described our space and materials in this post. But I haven't really said much about my own expectations nor about what actually happened. That's this post.

Expectations: 

The children will need to learn new rules for this space. Some are like the rules in Junior Church - we talk more quietly than usual and we move more slowly than usual. I modeled that we did not need to be silent during the hymns or music, but that we could sing along OR talk quietly together. Of the three children present this week, the older two already attend day-care classes (in fact, one has just "graduated" from pre-school or kindergarden and will start first grade next year), and they have several times sat through adult church services with only a few coloring pages or such-like to keep them occupied. For them it was pretty easy to stay still and quiet through the service.

The youngest is a bundle of energy. He found it hard to remember to keep his voice low, and often wanted to jump, turn upside down, or clown around with his sister. And yet, he did an excellent job of whispering when I reminded him to. To emphasize that jumping isn't wrong per se, but not to be done in chapel, as soon as the service was over the small boy and I made a beeline for the door and jumped up and down for several minutes just outside. As we were still in the Cathedral building this was perhaps not ideal, but I hope it will help him in the future to save up his jumps for after the service. (Pentecostals or anyone who does jump in church are welcome to make good-natured protestations in the comments.)

Godly Play Jonah materials & animals for Noah's ark

All the children worked with the materials we had available in (usually) appropriate ways. When the boy tired of coloring, I encouraged him to explore the available story materials. At first he really didn't know what to make of the Godly Play Jonah materials, especially the long squiggly blue "blocks". But once we had identified the boat, and looked at a picture of the storm in the Jonah storybook to see that the blue things could be storm waves, he carefully laid them around the boat, one at a time, until they were all in place.

He was unhappy with the suggestion that they might be put away before he moved on to work with other things later, but when, during our post-communion hymn, I said firmly (to all the children) that it was time to put everything away, he placed each blue wave back into its box, so carefully that it seemed to make no noise at all. I was enchanted.

Participation: 

My minimum expectations are these: I want the children to stop and stand and listen to the Gospel when that comes in the service, and to go forward for a blessing at communion. Word and Sacrament. Other than that, I am happy for them to have a lot of choice in what they do, in when they "pay attention" and when they seem absorbed in their own work. They will need, though, to begin to learn the cues - that the sung Alleluia Alleluia Alleluia means it's time to stand up and listen to a story about Jesus; that the song, Jesus, Lamb of God, have mercy on us, is the signal to get ready to go forward for communion. It may take some time. This week they found it very hard to stop what they were doing for the adult liturgical timetable.

At "the Peace", I asked if they would like to go around and shake hands with people. One said, "No." Another said, "Only with my Mum." I had asked a genuine question, and so felt that any answer was acceptable. (I'm glad to say that many congregants did lean into our "enclosure" to greet the children.)

Trinity Sunday

I handed out "and also with you" flags to many members of the congregation, as well as having them available for the children. Our pastor was so pleased with the response that she had us do it again - which was a good encouragement for the children to participate. She also urged the children to join the congregation in blessing the newly baptized by raising our hands toward them as she prayed.

Observation: 

The children will need to learn how to keep themselves occupied. (One important task for the adult on duty will be to help them do this.) It may also prove harder than it was in our much larger Godly Play room to find a second choice if someone else is working with your first choice materials. What else is in the area that they could work with? What might this child color onto a blank sheet of paper? During which bits of the service is it most interesting to watch what the priest is up to?

As I've said , I hope the children will soon recognize certain cues about the shape of the service. But I'd also like to help them "read" other things in the environment. I happened to kneel next to the young boy at the communion rail. So while waiting for the wine I encouraged him to count the candles on the altar. Trinity is a six-candle day in the Finnish Lutheran liturgical calendar, so I corrected him when he only counted five, saying one must be hiding behind another.

three baptism candles

But I was wrong, and he was right! The pastor had taken one candle down from the altar to use to light the baptismal candles!

It's always a special pleasure when the children notice things and make connections all by themselves. One girl particularly noticed the baptism candles, and whispered to me that her younger sibling has just such a baptism candle.

Reservations:

In our old Junior Church / Godly Play format we would begin by "forming the circle", often chatting informally for a short while before singing our first song, and always asking if anyone had anything special they were thankful for (these things then were included in the opening song). Although I have visited a church which incorporated an extended time of "sharing joys and concerns" into their service, we have nothing similar at our own adult services.

When one girl sidled up and began chatting to me during the service I realized that for her, a weakness of our Play and Pray scheme is the lack of opportunity for talking. I recalled that once when we'd been unusually pressed for time during our Godly Play session, this same girl had said she'd rather skip the Response Time (when we usually work independently) than the Feast (when we resume sharing together). She is clearly one of those Christians who prioritizes fellowship!

I don't have an immediate solution for that, but I am reminded of Jerome W. Berryman's advice, Whenever you see a child in the church, approach the child, make eye contact, and say, "I'm glad to see you." 

more on Play and Pray

As promised, somewhat belatedly, here's more on the launch of our Play and Pray area. This post will tell you what the set-up was like, including some initial reflections on what worked and what didn't.

We chose our space to gave a good vantage point for any child who wanted to see what was going on. The space felt enormous as we were moving twelve chairs to make room for it, but didn't feel so large once three children were inside it. As soon as one lay stomach-down to do some drawing I began to be thankful that more children hadn't come!

The floor was lined with a thin comforter / padded blanket. Each corner was covered with a mat (and sometimes a strategically-positioned chair leg) to help keep it in place. Spare mats were available by the "entrance", but they weren't really made use of this week.

I realized that my idea of putting all the materials around the edges was perhaps ill-conceived when I watched the smallest child labor to get past the other two to reach the colored pencils. (I praised him for carefully avoiding stepping on any artwork in doing so.) I then moved the pencils, explaining in hushed tones that it would be better to put them where everybody could reach them.

materials

• For an embarrassingly long time, I've had the materials for the Godly Play Jonah story on loan from a neighboring parish (fortunately, they had two sets). But I never put it into our classroom because I have trouble with that story. (Why? That's for another post!) But I brought it out for the Play and Pray area, along with an odd assortment of tiny stuffed animals in a basket - I couldn't find an ark at the flea market!

• Our book basket included a storybook about Jonah and the Whale in English and a book in Finnish with a huge fold-out poster of  (a cartoon painting of) Noah's ark. When a child first bored of drawing, I silently drew his attention to the correspondences between the illustrations and our 3D materials.
• Two very different sheep, both  found at the flea market for super-cheap (the cheap sheep?), stood alongside the book basket.

• The pastor was very leery of bringing clay / plasticine / play-dough to the service, feeling that then children would need to wash their hands before coming to the altar and that would just be impracticable. Similarly, I wasn't convinced we'd be able to clean glitter glue off the blanket we were using. But we did have paper and card in various sizes, colored pencils, two kinds of crayons, and some stickers left over from Easter egg decorating.

• On the chair closest to the altar I laid a green cloth (flea market place-mat), the Christ candle, and a basket of half-assembled cardboard Nativity pieces. As it turned out, nobody took any notice of this activity this week.

• Also available but not used were the flip-book guides to the liturgy (I might place at least one of these into the book basket next time).
• Because we were having baptisms that first week (a whole family was baptized), I had also brought along my own Godly Play baptism materials. But at the start of the service they were accidentally covered up. Just as the youngest's patience and attention was wearing thin and I was getting ready to bring them out... I recognized the strains of Jesus, Lamb of God and announced that it was time for communion. So we did fine without them.

When the time came for the baptisms themselves, I stood up and walked right up to the front of our space, encouraging the children to do the same. It was rather a long process, as each adult knelt to be baptized and was then robed in an alb by their godparent before the next baptism. As you can see, by the time the family father was being robed, only one child was really still interested. But when the baby was finally baptized and began to cry that got everyone's attention again.


thoughts for the future: One member of the church has already told me she owns a Noah's ark puzzle that she'd like to donate to us. Hooray!

It feels paradoxical to think that two or three children at a table will take less space than the same children coloring on the floor, but if we can figure out how to store them I'd like to consider getting a child-sized table and chairs. (Last year we tried having the children kneel in front of the pew-chairs and use them as desks, but this was disastrous because these wooden seats make extremely loud percussion instruments. A mere dab of a glue stick  reverberates around the chapel like a gun-shot.)

Play and Pray Launch

Today our congregation launched the Play and Pray area for children to use during our regular service (we had a sort of trial run back in October). The plan is to have this all through the summer, and then to revisit the question of Junior Church (and/or carrying on with Play and Pray) in the autumn.

Our set-up has been inspired by Margaret's blog post about the Play and Pray area at St. George's Church, Campden Hill, and Carolynn's pages for the Spiritual Child Network.

I received *very* positive feedback from the adults after today's service! Even more importantly, I think the children were also positive about it.

(during the service)

One child wasn't sure what would be available, so brought her own coloring pages (and kindly allowed the other children to use them as well). My hope is to move toward more specifically church-oriented themes for future art projects (as well as encouraging free drawing, which some children also did today). In addition to coloring, the children worked with Godly Play story materials about Jonah, a storybook about Jonah, a collection of small stuffed animals representing animals on the ark, a large poster of Noah's ark, Easter stickers, our "and also with you" flags, and what is more they got to witness *three* baptisms!

I'll write a bit more about today's experience in my next post.

saying Goodbye

A couple of days ago, one of the others who leads Junior Church texted me to ask if I'd be able to lead this week (I was away last week because of a funeral). I said yes. After church we held an informal "Gathering" at which we discussed upcoming plans, including the future of Junior Church. [Vandriver and I expect to be abroad during the upcoming academic year, and I am the only [adult] Godly Play enthusiast in our congregation (Seethroughfaith being in England at present).]

photo from Beulah Enterprises

I suggested that the others consider two solutions (or a third option, which would be a combination of the first two). One is the Beulah Land curriculum (the subject of our next guest post). The other is to not have any separate Junior Church program, but to set up a "Play and Pray" area during our regular services (here's a good description of the sort of thing I have in mind, and here's my account of the one time we've tried something like this before). We have never managed to continue Junior Church through the summer, and so last year we ended at Pentecost (which came quite late in the calendar then). So I think the congregation will introduce "Play and Pray" across the summer, and order the Beulah Land materials to consider using for autumn.

(last year)

Today's lesson had been the story of the Ascension. The Gospel of Luke closes with this, and has Jesus blessing his disciples as he is taken up into heaven, after which they return to Jerusalem with great joy. But in the opening of Acts, the story is more poignant. They're discussing the restoration of the kingdom to Israel, and just minutes later Jesus is taken up into a cloud. I picture the disciples just staring into the sky in shock, mouths hanging open. Literally. God has to send messengers: Nothing more to see here, folks. Move along now.

I mention this because it suddenly became clear at our Gathering that the consensus was that we'll have no Junior Church after Pentecost this year either. Since next Sunday, Pentecost, will be a Family Service... that meant I had just led the last Junior Church for this year, my last one for at least a year, and possibly the last Godly Play session we'll have. I'm sure it's due to poor communication on my part, but I was caught completely off-guard. I went off to put things away and realized I might as well go ahead and take them home! [Most of the art materials and cleaning materials belong to the church, but I've assembled and paid for all the Godly Play materials myself.]

It was a terribly sad feeling, and all the more difficult because I had been quite unprepared. I obviously hadn't warned the children at all, hadn't explained anything, hadn't said, This may be your last time to work with these materials.

working with Advent materials today

I'll continue to blog. I'll continue to interact with the children at our church whenever I see them, and I'll continue to look for opportunities to lead Godly Play.

But I was glad of the chance to clear the room slowly and then to walk home (leaving Vandriver to follow with the car) - as my time and space in which to say Goodbye to this stage of things and grieve a bit.



(Update: a follow-up post is here)

learning liturgy

Sunday was Fr R's last service with us before moving away. I didn't want to miss it, and I didn't want the children to miss it. And Fr R is all for having children present, so I decided to try setting up a children's area in the chapel for the day.

Vandriver was a huge help in this: he washed the tarp in advance, and moved all the furniture for me (that's our blue table and chairs - I think I need to suggest to the Dean that the Cathedral could do with a small range of child-sized seating).

While he was re-arranging the chairs, I was finishing up the And also with you -flags, following an idea that I got from The Spiritual Child Network. A good thing about them was that we had plenty, so I was able to give some out to members of the congregation as well as the children. A bad thing was that I'd forgotten to buy materials for them while I was out shopping for the craft materials - so I wound up making them out of our own chopsticks and will have to dis-assemble them the next time we have Chinese food!

Fr R was very pleased with them! He visited the children's area well before the service and spoke to those children who were already present, letting them know that although they did need to try to be quiet during most of the service, when he said The Lord be with you they could be as loud as they wanted in replying, And also with you! And at least once he cued us all - asking if the children were prepared - before giving us our prompt, The Lord be with you! 

From the children's corner I'd say the flags were not an unqualified success. The children were of course most enthusiastic about the flags at the "wrong" moments, and one child made an immediate connection with sports fandom and wanted to cheer for her favorite team. But I take heart from these words (again, from The Spiritual Child Network): 

The children playing during the worship does not mean they are not also engaging with what they are seeing and hearing. They will be making connections between the materials in the area and aspects of the worship and Christian faith they encounter in the service.

I plan to write more about this adventure in another post, but for now I'll close with The Peace. I wish that we didn't have security concerns about displaying children's faces in public websites, because the facial expressions are the real joy of this photo for me. The girl in red is producing a wonderful parody of an earnest adult greeting a child, and the boy in the plaid shirt has thrown his head back and is laughing with delight.