Prayers at Pentecost

This week leading up to Pentecost has been a week of prayer in the Church of England. Activities have ranged from novenas to 24-7 prayer rooms, from Lectio Divina to neighbourhood prayer walks. To involve my church, I scheduled a prayer activity for each weekday this week. Three of these were services at the church. But I also offered to do "themed devotions" for our two children's ministries this week.

These are not children accustomed to Godly Play; most of them are not even accustomed to attending church. Our ministry includes opening prayers and some teaching about the Christian faith, but most of the time is spent on games and other activities.

I chose to use part of the Pentecost Celebration from Catechesis of the Good Shepherd. This is something I learned about back in October 2013, and already then I was excited and intrigued about using it with others. The goal was to invite each child to a prayerful moment, one which could be understood as a prayer for renewal by the Holy Spirit (which is one of the themes of our week of prayer).

I began by super-briefly reminding children of the Christian concept of the Trinity, and reading Isaiah 11:2. I then listed the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit, showing cards I had prepared. These included illustrations to help non-readers. I lit seven candles placed by the cards. I started playing a cd of Taizé chants (starting with one on the theme of the Holy Spirit), and invited each person to come forward, one at a time, and light a candle of their own from the candle of one of the gifts. This would be their prayer for more of that gift.

It wasn't entirely smooth and ideal. The boys poked each other and stage-whispered, "Fire-POWER!" One teenage girl announced that she didn't know how to pick because they were all about God and she was an atheist. The "taper" dribbled far more wax than I had predicted, and some of the tea lights were surprisingly hard to light. 

But, each person present did come forward and light a candle. While the group atmosphere was not consistently reverent, almost everyone was serious about their own turn at lighting a candle. Most of them took time to select which gift they would choose. Although I had included illustrations so that non-readers might choose meaningfully from amongst the cards, I was also aware of the advice from Catechesis training that for some children the solemn lighting of a candle would be meaningful enough without fretting over the extent to which they had understood the choice to be made. 

After doing it with the first group, I realised that it was best to have the table positioned so that those lighting candles were facing away from the rest of the children. Something that did work well was having them blow out the taper once they'd lit their own candle, and then hand the taper to someone else who would then come forward for their turn.

Once all the children had lit candles, I asked them to invite the staff to do so as well. And it was clearly a moving and meaningful activity for them, too. 

gifts for godchildren

I'm so pleased with some gifts that I delivered last weekend that I'm very tempted to write a self-congratulatory post. I'm going to try to turn it into an informative post for others, though. My apologies if I fail and just sound prideful.

We have two godsons. One is a young adult; the other is six years old. We're far away from them this year, but were visiting last weekend, and so I wanted to give them gifts - partly just to show our love but partly to foster their spiritual growth. So I went shopping for Advent gifts.

image source

For our young adult godson, we bought a collection of Advent reflections, one for each day of the season (plus Christmas Day and Boxing Day): Inside the Christmas Story, by Bash & Bash. It's written by a priest who once served the parish of a relative of ours, with his wife, which gave it a little extra personal connection.

Sheila, at Explore and Express, has written a post about children's spiritual styles, and I agree that it's important not to assume that the same things will touch the same children. It's almost trite, isn't it, to comment on how different siblings can be. Our young godson and his younger sister are a case in point. He is deliberate, even cautious. He likes to know things, and to get things right. His sister is impulsive; she has no patience for long explanations. She's very extroverted - friendly and open.

image source

For our six-year-old godson, I bought the Advent magnets shown above. The big magnets on the top half of the sheet separate out into six - the wreath and candles, plus five separate flame magnets. Each "flame" can be placed over a candle on each Sunday of Advent (and Christmas Day). Below this are five "cards", with a suggested short Bible reading and prayer to go with the lighting of each candle. Besides encouraging his word-based expression of faith it also helps him practice his new reading skills, with the themes for each candle written in such large letters.

image source

We don't usually buy presents for this boy's little sister, but in the shop I spotted a holding cross (similar to the one pictured here) which was especially proportioned for a young child's hand. Do you remember the Lego stick that we pretended was a prayer cross? That was made by this little girl! So I thought of her as soon as I saw this cross, and really wanted to get it for her. Her first words upon opening it were, I remember we used to have a cross like this in Junior Church. 

I knew you would remember! I replied, and that's why I wanted to get this for you. Her second comment had to do with how small it was. I explained that it was designed for a child's hand but she corrected me: This was designed for a BABY's hand! Still, she was pleased with it. Being an extrovert, she thanked me for it (or told me how much she liked it) about four different times. Finally she said, When we have Junior Church again, I'm going to bring this, and we can pass it around the circle at prayer time.

I'm not sure our godson explicitly thanked us for his gift, except when prompted by his mother. But he immediately opened up the package and found a place to display the magnets, and later carefully asked me to help him read all the different themes. I took the opportunity for a quick chat with him about the fact that these themes don't match up exactly with the Godly Play themes for the Sundays, and encouraged him to ponder ways in which they do match up and ways in which they don't. We both laughed at the suggestion that Mary and Joseph's entry into Bethlehem might have been peaceful - probably not! Towards the end of our visit he caught my eye and slyly demonstrated how a flame would look atop a candle. As soon as we'd both seen it he snatched it away again, as if to stress how well he understood that it was not yet time to light that candle! So even though he didn't gush over the present the way his sister did, I know he appreciated it and will use it in his observance of Advent.

What about your own observances of Advent? What are you doing? And if you have children, what are you doing with them? I love the Busted Halo's suggestion that our preparations for Advent can be like preparing for a special guest. It's not that everything has to be perfect or that we need to pretend to be somebody we're not. If you're an extrovert - go ahead and gush! If you're a word-based spiritual type, do a special Bible study for the season. It's not too late to start. 

(Post-)Eastertide Guest Post: Montessori-inspired Prayer Chart

As Sheila says in her introduction to this guest-post, life happens. I promised almost two weeks ago that I'd share more about our Play and Pray area and implied that would happen straightaway. Instead I finally posted two long posts about it today. Sheila and I had planned to include a guest post from Leann, of Montessori Tidbits, in our Eastertide series. Instead, she published this yesterday and I'm getting it posted today. 

I love the simple prayers of a child.  They are so sincere, innocent, and pure.  They are spoken from the heart and in a way that many adults miss in their own prayer life.

As a Christian mom, I have always sought ways to help my son understand prayer is more than just asking for things.
It’s his time to mention things that are important to him. 
It’s his time to say thank you.
It’s his time to ask for help, especially on character traits that he’s working on.

However, my son sometimes has a hard time remembering what he wants to pray for and about.  That’s how our Montessori-inspired interactive prayer chart began.

Read the rest of this post here. 

prayer to the Faithful Shepherd

Today's Common Worship collect:

Risen Christ, 

faithful shepherd of your Father's sheep: 

teach us to hear your voice and to follow your command, 

that all your people may be gathered into one flock, 

to the glory of God the Father. 

Amen. 

(from "Additional Collects") 

(working with the "Good Shepherd and World Communion" Godly Play materials)

variations on a theme (Lenten link-up)

I want to thank Sheila at Explore and Express for the idea of this Lenten link-up for Celebrating Lent and Preparing for Easter. It's enabled us to connect with various different bloggers, many of whom were new to me. Last week I showed photographs of different responses to the Faces of Easter story, all from bloggers participating in our link-up.

This week I thought I'd like do something related - to show connections that I see between different bloggers who are doing similar things but in different ways. For some of you it's probably easy to translate an idea you've come across on-line into something that will work in your home or your church tradition, with your children and the resources you have available. But for others of us it's difficult to see how to adapt an idea. I hope these comparisons will help you to think outside the box (or "outside the photograph").

These are the photographs that got me thinking about this. The first is Holly's photo (from Three-Sided Wheel) of her Lenten mantelpiece, and the second is Sheila's photo (Explore and Express) of her Lenten nature table this year.

© Copyright 2009-2012. Three Sided Wheel-Holly Nehls

© photo by Sheila from Explore and Express

Very different - Holly's is on a mantel, out of the reach of children (although here you can see that she has also provided materials for children on the hearth), while Sheila's is placed on a windowsill. But both incorporate the seasonal color purple, and both emphasize Jesus (Holly's with the empty cross, awaiting Jesus's giving of himself on Good Friday; Sheila's with the Christ candle and also those purple puzzle pieces, which fit together into the Mystery of Easter in the shape of a cross).

If you have already read these posts you'll know that Sheila's display, although inviting, is not for thoughtless play. The small bowl contains water for remembering or looking forward to baptism. The figures in the desert represent their family travelling through Lent - each member chose his or her own figure to place there. And Holly's display, although simple, is full of meaning and story because each votive candle represents one of the Stations of the Cross, which the family recall together in prayer every Friday during Lent.

So different and yet so similar. Do they give you ideas for a way that you could prepare a prayer shelf or corner in your own home?

two weeks into Lent

Sheila and I are up to twenty contributions on our Lenten link-up. We'll continue accepting contributions all the way through Lent. Our theme is Preparing for Easter, and we welcome posts (old or new) about:

• art projects,
• nature projects,
• Montessori methods, &/or
• story-based religious education

Please, though, do include a link both to Sheila's blog and to my own, in exchange for us hosting this link to your own post. More details about how to join can be found in my original post. All contributions will be linked to that original post and to all these updates.

This week's contributions included two craft projects which caught my eye: Leslie's (Thoughts from the Sheepfold) prayer beads and Featherglen's finger labyrinth. (The photos below are used by kind permission of the bloggers in question.)

The prayer beads have an interesting twist - you can move the beads and thus keep track of how far along the sequence you are. Leslie suggests this could be a good way to keep track of a Lenten discipline, by moving a bead each time you remember to put it into practice. 

photo by Leslie Swaim-Fox, of From the Sheepfold

Featherglen's finger labyrinth is made of wool roving, needle-felted onto a fabric base. I believe it when she says that the technique of needle-felting the labyrinth itself was a meditative exercise!  

photo by Featherglen, more pictures and full tutorial here

the parts we don't like

Today's prayer podcast at Pray as You Go made my heart sink with the words of the scripture for meditation from Joel 2, Sound the alarm on my holy mountain. Let all the inhabitants of the land tremble. For the Day of the Lord is coming. It is near: a day of darkness and gloom, a day of clouds and thick darkness. I had been ready for a more encouraging message today!


But the guidance for meditation asked, What do you think this Day of the Lord that is near is? Is it something to be feared? To be welcomed? and then went on, Joel speaks of alarm, darkness, gloom and clouds. Do you think there is a place for that kind of language when we speak about God? If so, why? If not, why not? And those questions reminded me of Godly Play. I do think there is a place for language of darkness and clouds when speaking about God. But I also think it's a very worthwhile exercise to think about the arguments for both answers to that question. 

The Great Day of His Wrath by John Martin (1789-1854)

One of the things that I loved the most when I first experienced Godly Play was the fact that at the end of each Sacred Story we are invited to wonder if there is any part of this story that we could leave out and yet still have all the story we need.


It doesn't even have to be something that we don't like. It could be something we're baffled by, a detail that seems irrelevant, or just an exercise in paring down to the simple essentials (as Jill writes). But what pleases me most about the question is that it gives us room to say, I don't like that part. In fact, I wish it wasn't even part of the story at all.


And it's not just for the sake of children that I love that. Once, my father was reading a Bible story aloud to us as a family and my mother suddenly interrupted and asked him to stop at a certain point. Because I had been (Sunday-)schooled in a very Bible-based church, I knew what was coming in the story. And although I wanted to be sympathetic, I wasn't sure that a request like that was really "allowed". After all, we had been told over and over again that You can't just pick and choose from the Bible. You can't just leave out the parts you don't like.


Well, Godly Play doesn't really say that we can cut those pages out of our Bibles, as it were, but it does give us room to say that we don't like them. And I believe that that's healthy. We belong to a faith that has Sacred Stories about people who bargain with God and people who wrestle with God. And I confess to a certain amount of sympathy for Jonah, who not only got angry with God, but lectured him a bit, sulked, and finally burst out with an endearingly adolescent-sounding, I'm so angry I could die! (Jonah 4) 

detail from a miniature, Vatican Library

Godly time

One of the ideas that Godly Play has opened up for me is that we can be with God in play, and in "just being". I don't suggest that we should dispense with corporate worship, but I have been stretched by notions of wordless prayer, active prayer, and time that I cannot even call prayer but nonetheless seems to be Godly.

Last week a few of us traveled to see an architecturally famous church. A 98-year-old man leant on my arm, and the two of us walked slowly up a side aisle. He began to puff and pant, and so as we entered the chancel I urged him to sit down. We sat together and looked around a little, and then I got up to speak with somebody else. I looked back and was surprised and moved to see the man hunched over his cane, mouthing silent words. I thought, "He's praying!"

We soon left the church and meandered through the grounds before making our way to the parking area. Another able-bodied person helped the man to a bench. When the time came to leave the man had his head back and was gazing at the church tower viewed against a bright blue sky, and at birds circling overhead. I could not bring myself to interrupt him. 

Photo by john shortland, used by permission

This is a man who is essentially house-bound, as neither he nor his wife drive any longer. He has so little short-term memory that he cannot really hold a conversation, enjoy reading, or even remember to remove his shoes when he goes to bed. His wife told me that he can no longer cope with church services, even on the rare occasions when younger relatives visit and offer to take them.

Yet there outside the church I had a powerful sense that he was engaged in Godly work: admiring the birds' flight and enjoying the sun. He was engaged. It called to mind the Montessori quote I posted recently - the child who concentrates is immensely happy. And again, I thought of Godly Play - we have all the time we need. Surely there was no rush to take him to the car. The others could wait another few minutes.

Photo by Adam Jones (cropped by Storyteller and used by permission) adamjones.freeservers.com

[You might like to read another post about all the time we need.]


[The photos I've used here show a different church and a different old man - they are publicly available photographs and I am grateful to the photographers for sharing them.]

[In May 2012 I edited this post, deleting one phrase: he is not demented. At the time of posting, I believed dementia to refer only to hallucinations and severe errors in reasoning. I have since learned that it is used much more broadly for the loss of a range of brain functions, including memory.]

Godly Play morning for (almost) all ages

Thank you, Leslie, for writing words of encouragement after my last post (about plans for today's Godly Play event), and also to my mother, who sent an email saying she was praying for us. My prayer had been that everyone would get something they needed from it.

There were thirteen of us in the circle. We had children aged 3-5, a young teen, a grad student, parents, adults without children, married couples, and at least one pensioner. We were people born in North America, the Middle East, Eastern Asia, Africa, and Europe (including Finland!). 

I told the story of "the Great Family" (of Abraham and Sarah), using a desert bag for the first time in our classroom. This prompted at least two people to make plasticine deserts in the Response Time. 

Some people responded to the literal distances in the story and the idea of emigration, while others responded more metaphorically, for example to the idea of travelling through the desert without the refreshment and guidance of a river. One person even connected ideas from this story with insights from a recent television documentary about the Second Law of Thermodynamics! 

In the picture below, you can see that Abraham's body has been buried under the "sand". 

Afterwards, I asked the children what their favorite part of the day had been. One said working with glue. Another said helping with the feast. However, the feast was something of a disappointment to at least one child, because there was no food, only drink (a decision I'd made because lunch was to follow almost immediately). Also, the children found some of the grown-up talk difficult to sit through: notice the two children amusing themselves below by wearing their napkins on their heads:

We ended our session with a very different kind of prayer time than we've had before. I put the desert out again, and handed around a basket of stones and blocks. Everyone took a turn and put one into the sand. If they wanted to, they said a prayer after doing so, either in their heart silently or out loud. 

I think this was the most successful prayer time we've ever had in Junior Church / Godly Play: we have one child who is often very awkward about prayer, but who seemed to handle this activity just fine. 

When we got home, Vandriver asked me what my favorite part had been. I said, "Entering the room after preparing the drinks for our feast [during the Response Time] and seeing everyone doing their work - whether chatting together over plasticine, making a glitter glue painting, taking a nap, or reading about prayer."

seeing the fruits

David has just blogged about a Godly Play day that he did for adults in Spain (David Pritchard: Godly Play in Tres Cantos (Madrid), the original Spanish post is here). He includes a lot of nice feedback that he got, but what really excites me is that he also writes, we were blessed to have one church leader amongst us who had been brought up on this method in the States. He was able to share briefly how he felt about Godly Play as a child. You know, when they asked us at the European Godly Play Conference what suggestions we had for next time, that was exactly what I said: I'd like to meet some adults who grew up with Godly Play. I'd like the chance to talk to some "graduates" of the program! 


That's a long way off for me personally, but what did happen for me this week was during a visit with a friend here whose child comes to our Junior Church. The children were playing with Lego Duplo blocks. At one point, this child came across to the couch, where the mother and I were sitting, and showed me something like this:

--What a nice tower! (I said, and then tried to un-do my assumptions.) Or is it a tower? What is it?


(Yeah I know, I shouldn't have even asked that question, but rather stuck with something descriptive like This looks very tall. I'm a slow learner! Fortunately, the child didn't mind.)


--It's to pray with. It's for Junior Church.


--(cautiously, nervous that she would actually want to use it at church) You know, I think I'd prefer to use our holding cross at Junior Church. Because the other children might not understand, and think this was just a toy.


--It's Legos!


--Yes, that's why the other children might think it was just to play with.


--It's to pray with. You can use it now. And then give it to Mama. No grabbing!

(Be assured, dear reader, that I did not grab. I think No grabbing must be an important rule in their household right now.) Instead, I took the stick, and bowed my head and silently thanked God for this family and lifted them up in prayer. Then I handed it across to the mother, who also bowed her head for a moment.

Maybe you remember that I've posted twice (here and here) about my concerns over our prayer time. This was such an encouragement that for one child at least, it seems to be making a positive impact.

on being non-coercive

I came across a quote today from Rebecca Nye (one of the people who trained me in Godly Play). I'm going to give that quote its own post, in a moment. But while I was looking for its source, I flipped through a copy of Rebecca's book that I own. And there I found this quote:

Notice that not once did Jesus make his disciples pray. He just kept on praying until they could contain their hunger no longer and asked Him to teach them how to pray.* 

It made me wonder if I'm pushing too hard in having a prayer time in our Godly Play sessions. But I feel that the older members of the circle really appreciate having that time, and their needs are important too. Upon reading further, I felt reassured that I'm doing okay. We use a holding cross, which is passed from person to person, and I just need to keep reiterating that there are three equally valid choices - pray out loud, pray in your heart (which might include just holding the cross for a moment prayerfully), or just to politely pass the cross to the next person. Maybe I should even phrase it the other way: If you want to stop and hold the cross for a moment to pray, aloud or in your heart - that's okay.

*source: (Pat Lynch, Awakening the Giant, quoted in Rebecca Nye, Children's Spirituality, 2009)
** An update on some feedback that I got from one child is here.

"Legs criss-cross"

There aren't many Godly Play blogs that I'm aware of. Today I went browsing, following links from GP blogs and skimming through more general blogs about Montessori education (which is the roots of Godly Play, after all). I've found a bunch of inspiration, and come up with three resolutions for our next class.


One difficulty right now is how to communicate my expectations for the classroom. I don't want to over-do it by giving so many rules that I cannot enforce them all, or by nit-picking. For example, one child in my classroom likes to pick up the sides of the sitting mat, facilitating a rocking motion from side to side. Other children quickly pick up the idea, and movement and silliness increase until they're not in a good frame of mind for listening to a lesson.  

Chi Chang Wu (licensed)

I tried emphasizing the "getting ready" position as including having the hands on the knees or legs, but it was not a great success. Today I came across the idea of having a getting ready song. The writer of My Montessori Journey wrote, I have a little song that we sing to remind ourselves of what is expected at group time.  We sing it to the tune "Frere Jacque" and it goes like this: "Legs criss-cross, Legs criss-cross, Hands in your lap, Hands in your lap..." What a great idea! This is definitely on my agenda for our next class. 


I also came across this advice (from Creative Jewish Mom): Build your child’s understanding of life by taking the extra 20 seconds to explain a rule. I realize I haven't explained anything about standing up for communion and blessings; I just told them to do it. So that's something I need to do better next time.


And finally, I've had one more brainstorm - this one entirely my own, but motivated by reading about breaking activities down into smaller steps. I have tried a couple of times to give each child an opportunity to pray by handing a cross around a circle (an idea from this video  - jump to timer count 15:11 (Young Children and Worship))... 

Bouguereau (public domain)

But although I have tried to stress that it's perfectly okay to pray aloud, to pray silently, or even not to pray at all but just to hand the cross to the next person... it's clear that not everyone is comfortable with this yet. It finally struck me that maybe we need to go back a step and just practice nicely passing the cross around in a circle. Maybe I'll try that next time too... or maybe I'll decide that "Legs criss-cross" and showing reverence by standing are enough for one session! 

Our new room, part 2

One feature of Godly Play (in an ideal set-up) is that the participants are surrounded by the stories and language of the church. All materials have a place, so that children can find them easily and so that they know how to put them away. The placement also signals some of the relationships between stories - all parables are stored together, for example.

We have four low benches at our disposal in the room we use. All four are dragged into a large square, to define our circle space. One I have designated as the "getting ready" bench, in the absence of an official door person. If children need a space in which to take extra time to get ready, there it will be. (So far, it hasn't been tested. We haven't needed it or even talked about it.)

The other three benches are used as shelving for lesson materials.

The focal shelf: Although really a circle has no sides, there is still a sense that this is the front of the circle. Here we have the holy family and the risen Christ (you can see a close-up on the "About Godly Play" tab), center stage. To the left is the Christ candle, and underneath it are the materials for the baptism lesson. There is a glaring empty space on the right, which will be filled soon.

On one side of the circle is the parable shelf: So far we have only one parable box, but I have most of the materials almost ready for another one, which will come eventually. At the end closest to the front are the Palm Sunday materials, which we worked with a lot during Lent last year. (This is the "Jesus the King" story, from Young Children and Worship.)

And on the other side of the circle is the sacred story shelf: Here again, there's only one story so far ("The Great Flood", with an ark and two baskets of figures). And mirroring the Lenten materials on the other side of the room, the Advent materials are at the end of the bench closest to the focal shelf.

Then there is a Bible stand (with a basket of Bible storybooks below it), our art materials, cleanup supplies, and a 'prayer and peace' basket.

a Frälsarkransen (Lutheran prayer bracelet), a holding cross, and a peace flower

I think that last basket is the only thing in the room that none of the children have been introduced to. It is just there waiting until it is needed, or wanted, or until somebody "discovers" it and asks about it.